This is really difficult to post about. I have always struggled to stick with WW. It's SO slow and that can be maddening. Especially because it's mostly about learning to change your behaviors and habits. I went off track in December around Christmas time. I gained about 5 pounds then. I have since gotten off track a few more times. I'm back up to 241 after getting down to 237. I tracked solidly for a month and it was really great because I really did get in the habit of tracking EVERYTHING. By the end of the month, when Iris went to the hospital, I remember them bringing me some lunch after she was brought in and I was like, how am I going to track this? I have to track this. The habit was truly there. I didn't track because I knew I would be in the same predicament of "guessing" the points at every meal they brought me in the hospital. So I stopped tracking for a week. Only a week! I weighed in the next Wednesday and I was up EIGHT pounds. EIGHT!!! I was so devastated!!!! My entire month of tracking - down the tubes! I went back on track for a couple days and lost 3 pounds in 2 days. Then we went to Disneyland and I ended up going off track again (honestly, who wants to track points at Disneyland!??!). I got home yesterday and weighed in. I had only gained 1 pound from Disney. Not too bad. I tracked points yesterday and weighed in today. Lost 3 pounds in one day. I am now 4 pounds away from my lowest weight so far of 237.
This is seriously tedious. I now have to remove those 4 pounds just to get back to where I was before! It feels like such a waste of time! But I know it must be done. If anything, these "off track" moments are helping me to learn. I'm learning that if I DO decide to stop tracking (because that IS my choice), I should at least try to eat healthy still. I usually go completely ape-shit and eat the worst possible stuff I can! I believe experts call that binging! So I'm learning to try my best to make good choices, even when I'm not tracking. That will help me not to gain quite so much. :)
I'm also learning that what matters most isn't how much I've gained or that I "slipped". What matters most is deciding to try again. To start over. Again.
I read this quote that really stuck with me. It went like this:
Learn how to get back on track and get used to it. There will be times that you mess up. It may only be one meal, one day, one weekend, one week or an entire month, but it will happen...and that's okay. The secret is to learn to forgive yourself and start over again. Get up, leave the unhealthy habits behind, over and over again. Every. Single. Day.
It's a bit lengthy, but I like it. Mostly the part about getting used to starting over. I liked that.
So, here's to another month of honest tracking. Yesterday was day 1 and I'm sticking with a full month. Hopefully life will be a bit kinder to me this month. We've had a rough, rough, ROUGH month of the sickies here and I'm SO over it.
Starting Weight: 253
Current Weight: 241
Goal Weight: 233 (short term goal....)
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